Chocowhore

Here goes

2009-12-28T18:27:00.001-08:00

My attempt to being original, witty, funny, fresh and young at this age.

It's interesting how the body reacts to pangs of panic, surges of anxiety.

Losing my parking card meant hell at home, to work and at work.
The parking card is
1. my life
2. my sanity
3. my all.
I know it sounds sad but it seems to be the truth
that was so cruelly revealed to me today.

Frantically searching through my bag, the bag that I had just cleaned (not that it was that dirty) and organized (whose bag is all the time?) for that white hard card.
The proud feeling I had for being so organized before work was short lived.
So rudely taken away when I realized my parking card was not in it.

Not one to panic so easily as panicking would usually result in this sensation I feel right at the exit point, I consoled myself.
"Oh yeah, sure, it's in the car".

Walking calmly and as cool as my cat after she had squirted somewhere she's not supposed to, I grabbed my keys, opened the car door and put my swimming bag on the passenger's seat, hoping that the card would be in there.
To my dismay and surprise, it wasn't. Empty satchel. The very satchel my dad gave to prevent something like this to happen.
And yes, this wasn't the first time.

Learning from experience, I searched under the driver's seat hoping that the card would be gleaming. But no gleam.
I lifted up all the car mats. Nope still no gleam.

So ok so, maybe it was in the bag and I missed it. I threw everything in the bag onto my bed, looked through my wallet, went in between the 3 puzzle books I always have in my bag. No, no gleam. Need gleam.

Ah yes, maybe while shaking the bag to get rid of all the trash into the dust bin, the card must have fell off into the bin without me realizing.
Tipped the dust bin, spilling all my rubbish, went through all the crap in there. Nope not there.

This is when my sweat glands, especially near the arm pit area, get triggered to produce this bodily fluid that usually signals "Nurul, you're in deep s***t"

Ok, keep it cool. Knowing you, you must have not looked properly with your eyes.
Went back to the car, and start trashing everything around.
Can't lose this card, can't lose this card.
Again, nothing.

Went back into the room to look at the bag, wallet, books, trash can. Still no sign.
Breathe in, breathe out. Retrace, retrace.

Oh no, I'm gonna have to pay 200 bucks for this damn card.

Back to the car, looking at every crevice that is possible. Even in the glove compartment? where I NEVER put the card. Surely Nurul, you're getting desperate.
This was the point, when I was grateful that I had remembered to put on the deodorant.

Alright, so this is it. God is punishing me. I have lost my parking card. Now how do I get to work. Do I just call a cab? Ask my dad who's still in his pagoda t shirt, having his breakfast, a pensioner who hates wait loathes to drive in traffic.
Ok so cab it is.

Calmly as I can however not as dry, I say "I lost my parking card" to my dad. And his reaction was as expected, the high pitched voice, bulging red eyes (ok maybe not red I'm exaggerating) and the demand to know where I put the card.
Which usually is exactly the question I've been perspiring about.
Adults and their questions sometimes blows my mind away.

So I say, I'll call the cab and start reaching for my house keys. And there it was
Gleaming, somewhat mocking me. On the floor. By the stairs.

MY PARKING CARD, MY LIFE, MY SANITY, MY ALL.

I felt my muscles relaxing, my sweat ducts clearing and my heart doing its joy dance.
To which I go "Oh there it is"
and drove away.

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Item of the day
PARKING CARD

Je ne sais pas pour qoui

2009-05-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I spelt the last word right

But for some reason I just feel the need to make an announcement
that will go unnoticed in this universe for sure
but that's not why I'm announcing

I hate all of you
who make me feel this way
Why can't you just keep certain things to yourself
Why do I have to always get bothered by it

On a lighter note
There seems to be a movement in the office now
The "Do not Squat on the Toilet Bowl" movement
To send a message that not only is it dirty but dangerous to squat on the bowl
The doors are adorned with a cartoon to encourage people to
NOT TO squat on the toilet bowl seats

It's amazing how we need to remind people of obvious things
And it's annoying to have to look at this cartoon for the rest of my
business visits to the toilets

9 months

2009-02-20T06:26:00.000-08:00

That is the amount of time human beings gestate
well almost give or take a few weeks
what's interesting is that the elephants gestate for
22 months
that's 2 months short of being pregnant for 2 years

it has also been
9 months
That I have not been inspired to write
(or more than 9 months)

I'm blaming the age and the graying strands
I have become boring and dull

I no longer find a leaf in the shape of a chimpanzee something that i can ponder on
for hours

Leaf in the shape of a chimpanzee? What the heck?
A leaf looks like a leaf.
Full stop.

Seriously I need to revisit that place.
That place that makes me wonder and analyze and over analyze
I'm only 27 surely I can still see the beauty in the most mundane things like
hmmm
even that I can't think of

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I need to be inspired
Inspiration, you slippery bugger
I want my crazy dreams back
(the kind you get while you sleep, not how you see yourself in 5 years kind of dream)
I want to go back to school
I, I, I

I don't want to grow up?

Something you never share with a complete stranger at the canteen of the Day
Oh no thanks, Beans give me gas

Rambling that needs unrambling

2008-05-18T08:26:00.000-07:00

Excuses excuses excuses
That’s all I’ve been giving myself and other people

It’s sad how one always fails to step back and look
And realize life really doesn’t revolve around just you

This search this quest
This sense this yearn
Never fulfilled Never understood
Never ascertained

Stop before you say something that might hurt
But it makes you feel better? Only in the moment
Not so after
So get a baseball bat
If you’ve got something to say

Hate Love What’s the difference
Crossing the line is never that hard

Gas oh gas
Where did you ever come from

So you think you’ve got it all figured out
Think again
Long and Hard

What’s the point really
What IS the POINT

Slide slide slippety slide
Bang bang boom
Chug chug chug

Fate of the day
Unknown

Sssssssss

2008-04-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how one misfortune
can turn out to be
not so bad at all

Having no confidence in the public transport
and no patience for getting stuck
in between stinky arm pits
and sweaty bodies
I have numerously called for the cab to take me wherever my heart desires (okay just to go home actually)

And by far
yesterday's cab experience
I must say, was the best

It is bad enough that you are stuck in a traffic jam
moving an inch every 5 minutes
Worse if you really have to go
with the feeling that your bladder might explode
anytime

And it is another notch worse if the person who has to go
is your cab driver
Why?
Not trying to be dramatic here But
he Is, from the point of pick-up and drop-off, responsible for your life on the road
and my cab driver yesterday
Really really, i mean really really had to go

And he did
Behind some pillar
by the road side
leaving me all alone in the car
with the emergency light blinking
Crazy thoughts started running wild in my head
What if someone hijacks the car?
Do I make use of my pepper spray or try to poke his eye or any other part of his body with my metal chop sticks?
What if the line starts to move?
What if people start honking and honking?
Do I have to scoot over to the driver's seat and move the car?
What if my cab driver gets caught for indecent exposure or illegal peeing?
Do I have to walk home in the rain?

And by the time all these thoughts ran out of thoughts
He came back into the car
All relieved
and the line didn't move
even a centimetre

Phew! and boy he wasn't the only one
relieved

In case any of you take the Zalnas cab
Beware of the cab driver named: Mervin Dennis
ask him if his bladder is all clear before you get into the car

ps this is not a fictitious story
pss this is such a true story

Lesson Of The Day (for males especially)
Always have an empty bottle in your car
Preferrably one that isn't used for drinking anymore

Je vais prendre ta douleur

2007-10-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

After a great fall
Once you've dusted yourself up
You're given a choice to
Either turn left or turn right
Or to just continue on straight

And who knows which turn is most ideal
You trudge along and make the necessary adjustments
And sometimes along the way
A presence
makes you realize that you've been on the
non-ideal path all the while

And that ensuing change, however hard and unfamiliar it may be
Can bring the most unexpected joy and euphoria
And calmness
And the much awaited answer

Sign of the day (that you're in denial)
"My clothes are getting smaller. I need to change my detergent."

Liew Liew You You

2007-06-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

O'oh
It's that time of the month again.

People I envy but do not necessarily wish to be:
1) Someone who loves his/her job and doesn't consider the job as a job
2) Someone who gets it
3) Someone who can run a full marathon
4) Someone who can write songs; lyrics, melodies, symphonies, jingles, the works
5) Someone who has the capacity to stay true to his/her passion
6) Someone who has passion
7) Someone who can play tennis
8) Someone who has eclectic abilities but isn't crazy
9) Someone who does not worry upon hearing the phrase "A moment on your lips,
Forever on your hips"
10) Someone who eats to live

I am still a racist. Yesterday, on the train. I realized. I still am. I had a minor cringe when I heard two Chinese speaking individuals, talking loudly. I cranked up the volume of the music to which I was listening. And right next to me,
there were two Chinese boys, talking, but using the sign language. They were deaf/mute.
And I was at peace. Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk Bad Nurul

Wonderment of the day
Why is there a Chinese language, DELL computer set up manual pasted on the door of the toilet cubicle?

Bah!

2007-06-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

Please la
Come on!
Tolonglah
Mannn
Get outta here!
Yennadey!
Hmph!
Yeah right.
Uhuhm okay yeah
Hai Meh!
Ish!
Pish!

An attempt to bore, intentionally (it usually is unintentional in other posts):
I really like to eat.Sometimes I eat chicken, fish, beef.
Sometimes eggs.
But my favorite would have to be chocolate.
I love chocolate. I love it so much. So much.
My nephew likes it too.
I like Milk Chocolate especially.
Although some people say it's the fattest kind of chocolate.I don't care.
I like it anyways.
I can not and will not go on a week without it.
I wish someone would get me a lot of chocolate.
Imagine a mountain of chocolate. All for you.
Chocolate like Hershey's, Cadbury, Ferrero Rocher,Kinder Bueno, Time Out, Snickers, Galaxy, Flakes, Cadbury ,Lindt, M&Ms, Malteasers, Choki choki, Mars, Dominoe's

I think I learnt from the best.

Question of the day
Where is the empan really?

yackkeheh

2007-06-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how a single grape seed
Floating as if mocking
Refusing to go down
only after Three flushes
Makes me appreciate the digestion system and movement
Even more so now
But what I Don't appreciate is
Floating turds left by irresponsible individuals
Greeting me when I need to go
Yucks

List time
Animals I'd like to see/observe/touch in the wild/real time
1) Dolphins
2) Pandas
3) Whales
4) Proboscis Monkeys (for Obvious reasons)
5) Giant Leatherback Turtles

Did you know that pork meat makes up 41% of the kind of meat consumed in the world.
Now that's a lot of swine. A piece of information that is Totally irrelevant and perhaps unnecessary.
But what the Hey

Lesson of the Day
Don't swallow grape seeds whole Chew them at least

Hein!

2007-05-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

Okay here's the thing.
Really, I would love to bury myself in a pile of History Books
and be an expert with regards to World History
(well maybe not an expert, just not an idiot on the subject matter)
To understand how we got here today and what wars were fought
What treaties were signed, who defended their countries with utmost gusto
Et cetera

But I realized History, HIS-STORY, is really a one sided story.
And a story, may well have 10 sides therefore
What can be deemed as the truth
may not at all be the truth.
hahaha

Therefore I choose to not learn history and just nod in agreement.
And make up my own story. hah!

Stupidest question of the year
So is your new nephew a boy or a girl?

Hmmmmmm

bi bi doo

2007-03-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

Dude, you almost got me there.
Until I snapped to my usual cynical self.
You're waiting John?
Well it would be one hell of a LONG wait.
Because it will never change.
hahahhahahaha
But you almost got me all hopeful and euphoric
with the catchy melody and upbeat rhythm.
Well Done. Almost.

Moving on.
I happen to find and believe that the word love
is the most
clichéd
overused
overrated
word in the dictionary.

However, the mere mention of the word (as a verb)
conjures up such dramatic responses
unexpected reactions
and soaring feelings.

Thank you to those who participated in my experiment below.
Merci beaucoup.

Most interesting online laughter of the year
Kuhik kuhik kuhik

You

2007-02-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

I love you

Bom bom biauk

2007-01-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

Newly Developed Fears
1) Dropping my office access card into the toilet bowl. Before flushing. After business done.
2) Dropping my office access card into the toilet bowl. After flushing.
3) Getting locked out of the office. (Been there, Done that)
4) Sliding off the stairs at the train station on/after a rainy day and landing right on the head
5) Cursing suddenly out loud in the office
6) Suddenly, with no intention in the world, to fart out loud
7) Waking up at 8 am on a working day
8) Monkeys jumping on my back out of nowhere (okay now I’m making things up)

Shocking finding of the day
A dude in Lybia who lives his days as El-Bahlul.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2006-10-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

So what's up with these people talking with accents
British, American, Australian
Rolling their R's, fuddling their T's
I mean if you're Malaysian, bloody sound like a Malaysian when you speak English
You say dis when you mean this, you say dat when you mean that
And my favorite, say notchet when you mean not yet
Seriously
If your place of birth and/or nationality indicate that you are from Malaysia
Do me a favor and sound like one
What matters really is How you sound when you speak English
Not if it is comprehensible or "correct" or "proper"
Because no one owns a language, you can always custom fit a language to your liking
And if you're in Malaysia, talk like one because if you don't
You're really not that acceptable

Idiots

Ucapan of the day
Eid Mubarak dan Minal Aidil wal faidzin kepada semua yang mengenal diri ini
Ampun maaf dipinta mensuci hening dosa

Adu Adu du du du

2006-08-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a great fall
A literal fall
I fell on the road and bruised my knee
And tore my favorite sweat pants

Kenapa tuhannn oh kenapa
I know why
Because I didn't recite the doa in the beginning of my journey
oh and also because I got impatient with my mother the night before
and hmm I probably maybe had slightly raised my voice
So Padan Muka

Anyways It's August already and I think it's time to turn over a new leaf
(hahahahahah isn't that a bit too late Nue)

Wish of the Day
To dive (not in the sea but in the swimming pool)

Yo yo yo

2006-06-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

Profession of preference
1) Pilot
2) Emergency doctor
3) Art director
4) Professional fisherman
5) Excavating archaeologist

Not necessarily in that order
hah ah hah hah

Worthless object of the day
The above

On Festivus

2006-06-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

How much do I love thee?
No words or money or anything in this world
can ever measure
This tremendous love I have for you

Knowing that back when
You would be there for me
Always
to replenish this sore soul of mine
to reposition my strayed perspective of life
to reinstate this ever elusive sanity
with your wit and humor and most importantly
wisdom

Your tender touch
Caresses my heart in ways, no one ever has
Your firm grip
Lets me know
that I'll always have you, no matter what

Oh! Seinfeld
Why?
Didn't you go on for a couple more seasons
And now
Now that you are gone
I am left with reruns

but Nonetheless
I'll always enjoy you like
the first time I set my ears on you
as a humble tribute I would like to leave you with
this big hearty laugh

Haaaaahahahahaaaahahahahahhahahahaaaaahhahahahahahahaahhahaahahahahhahahhahaha

Why of the day
Tsk whyyyyy didn't I .....
(hehehe)

How may I hap chu?

2006-05-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

In my quest to continue on being a cheapo, I decided to check out the Petaling Jaya Community Library.
Let's just say maybe my quest on continuing to be a cheapo (in the department of book purchasing) has met its early demise. Although the facility and temperature of the library is soothing to the eyes and skin, I must say the service is uber poor.
I felt like I was a leper of some sort or someone who rolled her R's too much.
Note to self: cool it on the rrrs
It is so upsetting to see such splendid and spanking new library of no substance and integrity. Or maybe not there yet.

Moving on, determined not to give up, I thought the University of Malaya library could offer me a solution. After a brief phone call I discovered that unless you're affiliated with a company or another learning institution embarking on a certain research, you really can't treat the library system just like any other public library.
Aih, I guess I can ask for your help Anis later, if need be. he he heh.

Maka berakhirlah perjalanan saya sebagai pencari perpustakaan berdekatan.

I know there are other public libraries, namely the one in Shah Alam and Subang Jaya, but the factors of traffic jams and fuel price leave me no other choice but to just buy the damn books I want (or wait for family/friends to buy them and borrow from them).

I suddenly feel like the biggest nerd.

Weirdest dream of the YEAR
Having Kevin Federline say "You look good like that"
(I was wearing a pink cap and I was ecstatic to hear him say that)

which brings me to the next topic

Question of the Year
Does that mean I'm turning into a white trash fan? or worse a white trash?

Old farts

2006-03-24T08:20:00.000-08:00

After drinks with two very dear friends
We realized
If our rusty arithmetic skills can still be relied on
It has been 8 years since we were 16.
Eight.Years.
And that was when it hit us.
We are old.
Well very much older than 16 for sure.

And as we sat talking about what we had gone through in college
It seems surreal that those are all now in the past
That it feels like time is slipping by
Just like sand through the fingers
And the need to redefine life beckons
To know what one wants and to actually achieve it are
absolutely two disparate elements

This constant struggle of what you plan versus what actually happens
The perpetual battle between what is expected and what is delivered
The difficult choice between what is easy and what is right
All these Meant less when you were 16

Mistake of the day
Gorging down a big bar of chocolate while reading a health magazine

Znnnhhhh

2006-03-24T03:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish I had a baseball bat
and a sequioa tree in my yard
So that when I have rage in my heart I can beat the bark of the tree
Preferrably into a pulp
Other times the back of my eyes just burn and
it feels like they might pop out any time
And if I had canines I could just rip out the stuffing
from a pillow into smithereens
Most of the time I just play out the scenarios that
I would most love to happen in my head
Such as, well, it's best not to go there
Let's just say
At times like these
they would just have to do
to keep me functional
in this much anger-inducing world

No-no of the day
Ear digging

Beep Beep

2006-03-19T23:58:00.000-08:00

ish
I think
there is somewhat a correlation between geography and the inspiration to write
either that or I'm just making excuses

I just hope one day our roads will no longer be graced by the presence of motorcycles
especially those RXZ or ikan bilis types
oh yes
Furthermore, there should be a law against people who do not give signals when turns are intended
Upon my observation, it is suggested that people deem those things as mere accessories
And really why bother making signages on roads Because you usually miss the exit as the sign is right at the exit
Hmmm seems like I just made a list of complaints about Malaysiaku tercinta

Pain of the Day
Heart

Yennadey

2006-01-12T02:58:00.000-08:00

My plate's all brand new now
It's clean and empty and it's waiting for me to fill it up
either with rojak buah or sushi or sirloin steak or mee rebus or fettucine alfredo or lamb jalfrezi or moussaka or and the list goes on and on and on...
Hence the quest commences to find the right kind of meal of the right portion

I'm welcomed home with scabies and really that's not too good of a sign
So third world
EEeeeeewwwwwww
hahahhahaha

All punches or comments on my "macam bagusness" third world statement are very much welcomed

Passione

2005-12-13T21:53:00.000-08:00

When asked the question: What is your passion?
I find myself at a loss with words.

As I dig deeper into my mess of a mind to find one thing that I am most passionate about, in that be it an activity or a cause that I feel strongly about, I find zilch.
Zero.
Nada.
Rien.

I want to say cooking but I don't cook everyday.
I enjoy cooking for myself and for other people when the timing is right but not on a weekly basis.
I sometimes think about what to cook tomorrow, today after a meal.
But is that passion?

I love cats. I take care of my pet cats as if they were human beings. I treat them like human beings even sometimes.
But here in the States, I didn't go all the way to adopt one eventhough I love them like crazy.
So where's the passion?

I love reading books but my nose isn't in books all the time.
I wouldn't consider myself a thoroughly well read man.
I don't have an impressive book collection.
So reading is out of passion.

I don't have a specific hobby like collecting stamps or perfume bottles.
I don't have a collection of anything that I am proud of.
I find myself enjoying doing an eclectic of things. But not one single thing that I would pour my heart and soul into.

Is that bad? that I don't have passion for a certain something.
Does that make me less of a fulfilled person?
Does it mean that I must continue my quest to search for that one thing I can say I am abso-fucking-lutely passionate about?

Request of the Day
Some passion please

Haaaaa

2005-12-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

Dear America

Just shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

Thanks.

On another note I think one of my Sea Monkeys has cancer because there is a tumor on its erm tail? or one of his/her (they can be asexual at times) arms or tentacles or whatever they're called.
Well I'm not sure if it's really a tumor but it's something that isn't usually there and it's big and black.

In the beginning the tank was full of them, now I only have two.
tsk tsk
And these two are not procreating oh WAIT!
oh my god hahahahahaha
I just saw one tiny wriggling dot which means there is a baby sea monkey
Oh my god maybe it's not a tumor at all
hahahahahah

Man these brine shrimps are real suckers for life
Question now is who's going to care for them when I leave?

Name of the Day
Malekoglu

To wahoo or not to wahoo

2005-12-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

Speaking of randomness and total weirdness and greatness
I had been thinking about a joke someone once told me when I was in freshman year
And for the love of god, I could never remember the answer to the joke
So today, while waiting for the bus, in the biting cold (which I'm going to absolutely miss, or maybe not) a very rambunctiously loud man was talking to his friend
And when I mean rambunctious, I really mean rambunctious
Anyways he asked his friend
"Why are there fences around cemeteries", out of the blue
And that was the joke I had been thinking of all these years
and this friend of his thinking that it was a serious question mumbled something and the rambunctious dude said "it's a joke"
I was sold! Waiting for the answer
So the friend mumbled some more and the rambunctious man said
"Because people are dying to get in"
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah
isn't that just funny?
or maybe not

Word of the day
Rambunctious

Pish

2005-11-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Numb
to people
to the surroundings
to my own feelings

It is as if I do not want to feel
any sadness
or even happiness anymore
That I choose to embrace this numbness
And allow this soul of mine to be devoid
of any kind of expression

It is worthless to get excited
or upset
You get used to it after awhile
Anyways

It’s like when it is freezing cold outside
and your fingertips gets semi-frozen
and numb that it doesn’t matter anymore

And so that’s how it goes now
Numbness is comforting
and safe

Am I turning into a vegetable?

Perhaps I am
To love and unlove
To care and uncare
To hate and unhate
To feel and unfeel
It's a never ending cyle
Let’s just end the charade

Weirdness of the day
A detective asking me if there was anyone injured (and there was no accident)

Au revoir ma cherie

2005-11-12T21:07:00.000-08:00

This piece of news must be one of the hardest to swallow
As much as it is hard to, I know I have to
I have to let you go
Dear friend, I can only hope I was as good a companion
As you had been to me
Through all these times you were always there for me
Amidst all the changes around me, you were the only constant in my life
Although we were a million miles apart
You were always in my thoughts and will always be
Thank you
I will miss you
and I will always love you

Crackeroos

2005-10-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Butt cracks: Sexy or Not Sexy?

Someone should write a thesis on this and study the phsychological aspects of it.
How it affects the society or in other words how it affects ME.

Besides the issue of chewing loudly or chewing with the mouth open, another issue that has been plaguing me for quite some time is....Exposed Butt Cracks.

My initial sightings of this phenomenon originated here in the States, as the people are fond of wearing baggy jeans (for men) or (super) low rise jeans (for women).
Well heck Malaysia might have picked up the trend, and I have more waiting for me back home.

Being the google whore that I am, I launched a research on this issue and googled for butt cracks.
It seems that historically it became the new trendy cleavage to show in 2002. Butt cleavages are no longer just for plumbers. Well it's 2005 now, surely that should be so passe now.
Okay? please

I feel the need to ban Butt Cracks. Say no to Butt Cracks.
They are no longer sexy, they actually never were.
They should stay where they belong, in pants.
If you want to tease me like that, please just don't wear pants at all.
And I say this to ALL butt cracks. Regardless if you're hot or not.
I don't care. I don't discriminate against certain types of Butt Cracks.
I hate them ALL.
I don't need to see the partition of your ass. Seriously.
It pains both my eyes and heart.
I find it offensive. I find it repulsive.

Please someone, do the right thing.
Pass a law to eradicate the exposure of offensive body parts.
Iaitu Butt cracks.
Retakan pinggul.

Funny of the day
A mother worried that her child's butt crack is crooked.

Sou desuka?

2005-10-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ms. Adnan
I am now hooked on Sudoku
Don't know what Sudoku is?
My my my Aren't you losing out on some good wholesome fun
Check it out at http://puzzles.usatoday.com/sudoku/

It didn't help at all that this was brought upon my attention
A day before my Process Dynamics Midterm
It's a few hours away from Hell and here I am figuring out where to put the numbers in the right boxes and even discussing strategies with a fellow addict
Instead of memorizing the input functions

How it all appear so random at first but each number only has one place to go
It's so crazy!

And Now I'm thinking of a mathematical model to describe my laziness
Motivation to study/do work is inversely proportional to number of exams/amount of work
That I am totally sure of
But to what order? First? Second? n-th depending on circumstances?
Some sort of an experiment should be conducted to determine the parameters and see how the constants differ perhaps at varying conditions i.e. Winter, Summer, Spring, Fall

Aih
Truly I'm in denial

Urge of the Day
To bid goodbye in this manner "Tata titi tutu"

Aiseyman

2005-10-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

I believe I have taken a new approach to life
And I am not sure if it's good or it's bad
It can be either at times or perhaps neither

I don't care much about what people want to do with their lives really

You want to smoke?
Well if you do know of the consequences
i.e. you can get addicted and start smoking like a chimney pipe and you may or may not develop lung cancer and suffer from it and maybe eventually die from it or not
By all means, be my guest
I don't care, it's your body
You're the guardian of your own temple

You want to go get drunk?
Well if you do know it's haram in Islam (if you're a muslim)
And remember not to drink AND drive
And be cautious of who you accept a drink from in fear of being gang raped while you're inebriated
Who am I to stop you from doing it
It's your life choice and you are an adult so go ahead

You want to get married?
Yes that is a very noble idea indeed
As long as you are aware of the fact that it will not be peachy all the time
That even with all that love you have for each other
Marriage is not only a union of souls but of tremendous responsibilites
Which both men and women have to share harmoniously
I wish you the happiest of marriage

You want to starve yourself so you can be skinny?
I hope you understand that your body needs nutrition to function
and that you at least should take three meals a day
And what truly matters is what you think of yourself
not what others of you
And you should be happy being you
Please, do proceed with your plan

But then again, who cares if anyone cares anyways, nowadays
hahahahah

Education of the Day
A game of cribbage

simpleton

2005-09-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

When asked what she wanted to be when she grew up
My 4 year old cousin answered her mother
As-a-matter-of factly

"Nak Jadi orang la"

which meant

"I want to be a person, man"

And it struck me, how both the answer and question are obvious and simple
We are too busy and gung-ho about saving the world and reaching for the stars
And buying that car
that we forget about the very most essence of existence and basic thing that we need to do
To be human beings
A person

This coming from a cousin who also asked my mother when her maid (who happens to be yours truly) is coming back from the States

tsk tsk tsk

Kids nowadays

Jingle of the Day
Paddle Pop (hey!)
Paddle Pop (yeah!)
Super Duper Yummy

Ish

2005-09-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

I must say
Last night's dream, deserves the Weirdest Dream of the Year award

I dreamt that I had married Nicholas Cage for some reason
Not out of love for sure but for some other practical? reasons
I'm not sure

Then one day I realized it wasn't working anymore so I said to him
(and I remember clearly we were in my parents' bedroom and my little brother was on the bed reading a book)

"Nic, I think we need to talk"
"I know I'm a good person to you but I'm not a good wife to you"
(since we haven't even consummated the marriage having been married for a few weeks? or months? god knows)

So Nic said
"Yes, I must say I agree on that"
"You're not a good wife to me"
(I think he sounded hopeful, thinking that I wanted to change that and BE a good wife)

Then I replied in part English and part Malay which Nicholas Cage was very proficient

"I want you to ceraikan (divorce) me"

Then he got furious, I could see his nostrils flaring, you know like in the movies

Then he said

"Fine! Yeah, Divorce!"

Then I said

"But YOU have to DO it for me!" (I think I sounded like I was whining)
(because in Islam, the man has to utter certain words to properly divorce his wife, just me asking for it and him agreeing like that doesn't count)

He replied quickly

"Aku ceraikan kau!"

In full Malay, can you believe it
Nicholas Cage in a kain pelekat speaking Malay

Oh by the way, that meant

"I divorce you"

hahahahhahahahahaa
Weeiiirrddooooooooooo

By then I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and my brother was so uncomfortable he went
"Ah shit, I don't want to be in the middle of this"
and he left the room

and the dream ended there

Poor Nicholas Cage

M.I.A. of the Day
my calculator

Rant-o-rama

2005-08-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

Things I don't appreciate

1) I don't appreciate chewed gums left on benches, chairs or other public amenities
2) I don't appreciate elephant-stomping style of walking on wood floors that shake the room
3) I don't appreciate excessive sighing
4) I don't appreciate talking out of your respective asses
5) I don't appreciate unnecessary explanations

Hoo-haa

Smell of the day
B.O.

Aku Yumela

2005-08-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Melayu
memang malas
Bila dikata malas
Ramai yang melenting
Melatah merapu

Tapi memang ada benarnya
Lihat sahaja konti konti kerajaan
Yang majoritinya Melayu
Sakit hati dibuatnya

Bukan lupa daratan
Bukan mengutuk
Cuma malu
Malu dengan anak bangsa sendiri

Yang cakapnya
Tak serupa bikin
Yang cakapnya
Mengalahkan perlakuan

Tapi apa nak buat
Dah memang lumrah
Melayu memang malas

Issue of the Day
Excessive skin display

Pure Randomness

2005-08-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary

I am super sleepy right now. But I promised myself I would write everyday.
I actually have nothing to write. But a promise is a promise.
What a load of horse s**t

I have no place to stay. This sucks. A box right by the fire hydrant seems like a promising prospect. For the moment.

Really he has to stop annoying me. Before I turn into a *blank*.

Wait what's that sound?

Seriously I am in dire need of some shut eye.
Great
Splendid
I know diddly squat.
Oh no

zzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzz

Babe

2005-07-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

I miss you
Do you miss me?
I really do miss you
Like shit
Do you miss me like shit?

Remember those nights
We spent together
A million thoughts
In a moment of silence
And we were content
You blinked a lot
I saw

Comforting nuzzles
Sniffing sessions
Calming sounds
You and I shared
I will cherish always

How I wish you were here
To mend this longing heart of mine
My desire to rub you
Right under your chin and under your belly
and hear you Purr
Ahh pure bliss

Amoodi
Wait
I'll be home soon

ps Amoodi is a cat. Don't get any ideas.
pss Yes I know she can't read.

Pleasure of the Day
Mock Duck

Coklat

2005-06-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

In Malaysia, advertisements make it sound hopeless for those who are
1/ Dark skinned
2/ Meaty

And in lieu of the first reason I'd like to share a song, as crappy as it is to put up lyrics of a song,
Fair and Lovely should get a kick out of this song
Oh if you're going out with people who fit the description of the song
For example African Americans, Mamaks, Sudaneses, Indians, Senageleses and the list goes on
Please let them know, how you love them as they are
Kudos to India Arie
The melody puts you in the mood for hot chocolate and then some

Here goes

Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
I can't tell where yours begins, I can't tell where mine ends
Brown skin, up against my brown skin
Need some every now and then oh hey

Where are your people from? maybe mississippi or an island
Apparently your skin has been kissed by the sun
You make me want a hershey’s kiss, your licorice

Every time I see your lips, it makes me think of honey-coated chocolate
Your kisses are worth more than gold to me
I’ll be your almond joy, you’ll be my sugar daddy

Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
I can't tell where yours begins, I can't tell where mine ends
Brown skin, up against my brown skin
Need some every now and then oh hey

Every time you come around, something magnetic pulls me and I can't get out
Disoriented, I cant tell my up from down
All I know is that I wanna lay you down

Every time I let you in, abracadabra magic happens as we swim
Higher and higher finally we reach heaven
Come back to earth and then we do it all again
Yeah...

Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
I can't tell where yours begins, I can't tell where mine ends
Brown skin, up against my brown skin
Need some every now and then oh hey

Skin so brown, lips so round
Baby how can I be down?
Beautiful mahogany, you make me feel like a queen
Tell me what’s that thing you do that makes me wanna get next to you, yeah

Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
I can't tell where yours begins, I can't tell where mine ends
Brown skin, up against my brown skin
Need some every now and then oh hey

Brown skin, you know I love your brown skin
I can't tell where yours begins, I can't tell where mine ends
Brown skin, up against my brown skin
Need some every now and then oh hey

Challenge of the Day
Bathing

Boo hoo

2005-06-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

What most people don't know is that
Everybody needs that one moment to just cry
Cry your heart out for everything
The past
The present
The future

Throw that macho crap out of the window
And choose a song to start you up with the initial well of tears
A moment when no one is around (if you don't want people to hear you)
And just Let It All Out
Sadness, regret, guilt, pain, anxiety, fear and even joy
Let it all flow together with those tears
Out of your system

So now that you are all bawled out
You are ready to face the harsh, cruel and beautiful world
With a new set of tears

And it's not only for women nearing PMS
Believe me

Junk Mail of the Day
Horny Pills - 75% off

Yap

2005-06-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

When one starts to brag and does not realize that he or she is doing it
(or IS intentionally doing it)
I feel like dumping my head in the toilet bowl
3 times

Really, there has to be an art to bragging
There is a way to brag without sounding like a pompous-full-of my-ass-asshole
Or better yet just shut your hole and wait for the right moment
A humbling moment, to gloat in all the glory of worshipping yourself as the most exalted human being on the face of this earth
That wouldn't be much of a humbling moment now would it

Maybe what I'm trying to say is
Shut up and get out of my sight
When you feel the need of making me feel that you are the greatest person in the universe
and you need to hear I say that you ARE

Mode of the Day
Bitchy

Missed

2005-06-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

It bloomed and I missed it.
Because I was busy doing nothing.
Super.

I'm not sure if I'm being botanically correct
and I'm sure that botanists would vehemently object
But I seriously think that the Titan Arum
looks like it has a colossal shriveled green penis right smack in the middle of the bloom
They call it the spadix though
Call me a pervert but it does
Maybe that explains the stink
Saying that just made me the colossal pervert

In a different world, who knew chimpanzees could be so aggresive
and eat their young
Somehow or rather I feel a little hopeless for absolute peace
Because even the chimps are eating their own
We are after all like animals

Movie of the Day
The Color Purple

Odus Modus

2005-06-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

An Ode to Food Poisoning

Oh how it all began
With sheer pleasure on the buds
Ecstasy to the palate
How blinded we were
By the empty promises
What transient satisfaction
What elusive tranquility

Shooting stars
Heck maybe the entire galaxy
Down the bowl
Cringing, bent over
Begging for forgiveness

On and off the pipe goes
Up and down
Left and right
The pure agony

God I pray to you
Take the pain away
I promise
With all my capacity
To never
Never again

Ode of the Day
To the Invention of air conditioners

So

2005-06-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

I watched Sepet
I didn't get it
Did he not die then?
If he didn't, he didn't sound at all like he was in pain after having his head bashed on the tar
Oh wait Am I giving it away
Anyways So yeah what's the deal yo
hah hah hah

I might need to check myself into a fat camp

Grossness of the Day
My jeans

One o W

2005-06-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the year again for Know When's

You know you have been working at the library long enough when you are walking to class and you see a guy on a bike and you go "Oh there's Andy Dayton" and that guy has no clue as to what your name is

You know you have come of age when your aunt is adamantly trying to set you up with one of her colleagues at work who is supposedly very elligible despite your profuse declines

You know you are a threat to yourself when you start trying to swallow whole cherries after watching Maria in Maria Full of Grace practice on big red grapes

You know you have to start looking for a new place to live when you look like you belong on the bus you take to school/work

You know you need a hobby when you consider passing the time by watching Care Bears the Movie and you are well on your way to your mid 20's

You know you've lost it when you lose your marbles

Out of sheer randomness
If the truth hurts and reality bites
Where do you go? What do you do?

*lame alert start*
I say go to Pudu.
*lame alert end*

Redundancy of the Day
An orange with a glass of orange juice

Currahee

2005-05-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

As I listen to the theme song again and again
I have come to terms to accept the fact that I am an addicted junkie
I am willing to bleed my eyes for Band of Brothers
I even told a friend my favorite war was World War II
And that got me thinking, favorite war? What the hell is wrong with you Nurul?
Sheesh

Nonetheless we never seem to learn that men killing other men never really solved anything
My dad believed it was a way to control the world's population (and I hope he's kidding)
The reasons for war have shifted as time went by
I don't think people believe in what they are fighting for anymore nowadays
Sometimes even in life

Annoyance of the Day
Sharapova's "uugghh"s as she hits the balls

Broccoli

2005-05-28T21:39:00.000-07:00

As I was laying like broccoli, enjoying the clear blue sky on an awesome summer's day on the porch, I came up (or made up more precisely) with a few beliefs:
1) I believe that the best way to truly cherish someone, is to know how it feels like to be without that person
2) I believe that most super sized people are funny
3) I belive that to be at peace with yourself, one must learn to accept one's true self and be one
with the creator (this is what looking at the beautiful sky with birds chirping away do to you)
4) I believe that the whole series of Band of Brothers is a worthy watch
5) I believe that another week of wasting away will deplete my gray matter and I shall turn
into a blithering idiot
6) I believe that love is under-defined and most of the time overrated
7) I believe in beliefs
8) I believe in having 10 beliefs in this belief list
9) I believe that sometimes the atrocities in the world deserve to happen so that we can learn from them (and when men stop learning from them, you know it's hopeless)
10) I believe in YOU.

Lesson of the Day
Make a List.

Hhhhhhh

2005-05-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have been dreading this day for a long time.
And here it is.
The day.
I have tried and tried to psyche myself to be ready for it.
I think no one can ever be ready for it.

Heart.
I beckon you to be strong.
I summon you to keep calm.

Oh God. I feel so alone.

Realization of the Day
I am a total clown.

Boy o boy

2005-05-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

It must be my hormones or something because I feel like professing my love to my only little brother Haniff Azlan Shah

I felt like strangling you most of the time when we were smaller
Mainly because you were perennially acting like a jerk and a pompous brat
You were always kicking my legs
You never listened to me
But as we grew older, I see you turn into a man of honor
A brother who truly has genuine love for his sister
When of all the things you asked from Ummi and Abah to pray for at Mecca
Was so that God would give me the light to cover myself
And did not ask a single thing for yourself
You are away now pursuing your dream
Filling your mind with knowledge
Which one day, god willing, will help others
I am truly proud of you
Although sometimes I don't show it
And complained that you didn't clear the table well enough
And the clothes needed to be hung to dry the right way
But remember I am doing all this because I am the elder sister
And I have the right to nag
I love you my brother
With all my heart

Sentiment of the Day
Nostalgic

Pig

2005-05-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

If some Muslims choose to drink
Why not go all the way
And have some pork?

Anomaly of the Day
Two seconds doze during an exam

Bye

2005-05-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

With the mighty words of the wise purple dinosaur
"I love you, you love me, we are happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you come and sing with me (or something like that, it could be "play with me" or "play again")
I would like to pay tribute to some who are leaving me here all alone in this place called Madison where winter sometimes pop up in May

To my dearest friend and confidante, Nurhaizi Anis Ahmad
I can't believe in a few weeks you will berambus from this very place where we've grown so much and experienced a plethora of joy and heart aches. Thank you for being the best roommate and friend one could ever ask for (although I might be the only one who feels that way heh heh). Thanks for being there when I was in total dumps and especially when it was good. God only knows what I'd be without you. hahaha(are you squirming with uneasiness now?)
Babe, I wish you god speed. And see you later. And we'll poser at some cafe. And speak like bitches who are full of themselves.

To my food enthusiast partner and talented writer, Syuhada Adnan
Ambo tok tahu deh. Who will entertain my bizzare cravings for delicacies that require extensive research and movements? Thank you for being that friend who listens to all my crap. And sometimes to join in all the crapness. Thanks for sharing the things you know I would enjoy especially to actually go all the way and put a glass on the phone for me to hear something that could not be heard even if I had elephant ears.
To you I say, if you have a book coming up, please do include your very awesome friend Nurul in it. I'll see you in Malaysia and try that biskut kering. Khalas.

To my very gedik friend like no other, Syazana Fatkhi
I'll miss your eccentricities and of course your lending ears at times. Thanks for being that friend who has a car. hahahaha. No lah, of course, you're more than the car. Thanks for all the socks, you are the only friend who has given me three pairs of socks, and must I say they are all excellent. Whenever my feet are warm, I'll have you in my thoughts.
If you're going to live somewhere out of Malaysia, I'll come visit. (saves my money on lodging.how cheap can i be? very.)

To my AF loving and cool roommate, Haida Hannie Azreena Yahoda
Although I know you never read this, I'll just include you anyways. Man, the things we've gone through together living in the same house. Countless deaths, unbearable freeze sessions and heart attacks. Thanks for keeping your cool at all times when I was freaking out like a mad woman. Thanks for supporting my brilliant idea of getting Muddy Banana in the freezing cold with the snow falling outside. I'm sorry if you had to endure some of my bad habits, blatant gas passes and all. And the frequent sudden "you've got to get out of the showers now because I can't hold it in anymore" shouts in the morning just because I have a very active bowel.
Dude you rock.

To my resourceful and crossword puzzle junkie friend Lisa Idris
Dude, I know you've learnt a lot from me when we were younger. Hahahahah. In turn, thanks for sharing with me the discount code for xandria. com. Although I haven't made the purchase you can bet on the cheese sticks that I will get me one before I go home. Thanks for wearing that white skirt in New Orleans, at least we can say now we knew a celebrity. And of course it was good music. Thanks for the porch sessions, but I know you don't do that anymore. (aku harap kau faham).
Hope to see you around and we can have our bitch sessions. hahahha.

To my ever so perfect and high pitched friend Mega Nopija Khalidi
Mega, mega, mega. Di awangan.
I must say, you do remind me of my sister in law, but not so much anymore.
Thanks for fun times whenever we had a discussion on matters you, I'm sure, pretended to know nothing of. We'll make sure that when you do get on the pelamin, we'll get you a mike and cheer you on for a speech.
And if you do win a Nobel prize, please remember to include me at least in your thanks, maybe not directly but just a slight mention of the name Nurul. That's all.

So there you go. I am bad at being grateful but I try my best.
These people are my family here. And without them, I would have probably self destructed or maybe hung out a lot with other asian students. hahahahah.

Thank you all from the bottom of my pitless heart.
And I apologize for all the wrong doings and annoying traits I might have unleashed in the course of time you've all known me.
I am no more than a normal human being. With flaws.
So babes, I wish you all the best in your future undertakings.
Keep in touch. (especially when you decide to end your single life)

Play of the Day
Online Pool. With my 5 year old nephew.

Change

2005-04-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

How I have Changed

People carry no surprises anymore.
Change really is constant.
Fortune cookies sometimes make more sense than life.
180 degree turns can happen instantaneously.
Trust no one, but God.
Accept and embrace.
Seek, don't just look.
Failure is a stepping stone to greater success.
Take but don't expect not to give at all.
Cry.
Good things come to an end.
Love thyself and mean it.

Change of the day
Toothbrush

Allons-y!

2005-04-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

Move on
fhufhh
whatever that means

People die everyday
Sometimes they are your loved ones
Sometimes they are just people you know
and yet you move on

When something or someone dear to you
Departs from earth
Disengages from your life
Unlatches from the very notion of perpetuity
You move on

You move on in ways
that suit you
that complement your lifestyle
that avoid hazard
that pacify the marred heart

so
Move on already

Accomplishment of the day
Zilch.

Ppfftt

2005-04-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

Why bother debating when
everyone is entitled to their own opinions
that it is okay to have a unique stand on a matter
without having to justify and convince everyone else

Why bother talking when
half the time you can't even live up to what you have said
all that was said is lost into thin air
never to be remembered
never to be held accountable for

Why bother trusting when
there are vultures at every turn of your day and life
and the person you learn to trust wholeheartedly
is no one else but
your very own self

Why bother eating when
you somehow end up bingeing
and packing on the pounds
without realizing that you are on to your
last piece of cake

Because you need to eat to survive you idiot

Tornado of the day
In my room. Right around the bedding and studying area.

Peut-etre

2005-04-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am not old enough
Maybe people feel the need to shield
Maybe I am too judgemental
Maybe they are just trying to protect

Perhaps I need to grow up
Perhaps they just have to stop
and realize
that maybe
I am ready

Perhaps of the Day
Read the Rubaiyat instead of watching back to back Misteri Nusantara

Waduh

2005-03-25T20:42:00.000-08:00

Self-righteousness
Fuck that shit

Hypocrisy
Fuck that crap

Banana Split
That is all that matters

Discovery of the day
I don't treasure Silence by myself very much.
I should start being comfortable in silence.

Mee-ow

2005-03-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

People (my sister in law) say I look like my cat Amoodi
Some other people say I look like a cat
I don't know if I should take it as an insult or just plain take it
Nonetheless I'm not offended
One night while conversing with my elder brother on the other side of the world, who was supposed to be working, we tried to remember the names of all the cats we've had at home.
Throughout the 30 years of the house's lifespan, it had been the victim of hundreds, perhaps, of cats' pees and poops. Well okay I'm exaggerating, close to a hundred is more accurate.
And fortunately enough, we never had to buy cats, they always came, when one went away another came and the cycle continued even until now, while I'm away.
And they always made my day or not. Like that one morning when Amoodi crapped on the sofa, Oh god I still remember the smell and the faces of my brothers. We were having our sahur, that early morning meal in Ramadan, and there it was, poop on the sofa. And my bloody two elder brothers just pretended not to see it, and acted all sleepy and I had to clean it. And I tell you, I was not happy with Amoodi or my siblings.
But then again, without these cats, I would never have learnt the meaning of patience. And how men are sometimes useless.
hahahhahahaha

Favorite Toilet Door Graffiti of the Day
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"
What inspiring words while you're doing your number two, or one

Cracks

2005-03-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

There on the comfy chair you sit
Both cheeks side by side
No I don't know if that's it
Who knows maybe I lied

Oops no that's not your place
Get back in there I'm serious
God I can't keep a straight face
Run, jump, hide I'm delirious

As you can see it's pointless
To come out from your hiding
I can't think of any other verse
Someone just give me a lashing

What I'm simply trying to say
Dear Crack stay where you belong
There inside safely tucked away
Quietly not like a gong (hahahahhahaha)

Man I suck at rhyming.

Nauseous sound of the day
The pee and fart combo (not mine of course)

Sold

2005-02-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

As I was eating the teriyaki imitation crab meat at the Union, I overheard a conversation revolving around a movie this individual had to watch for his lab.
I then started to reminisce as I too had to watch this stupid safety movie. It was about this man who was the manager of a plant, I don't remember producing what, but let's just say the plant was big and a lot of toxic chemicals were handled there.
As usual, the whole point of showing the movie to us poor students was to educate us on the reality of the career that we might pave our ways to.
The Sales Department had demanded that he find a way to increase the production or suffer the consequences of discontinued operation. Now, he's faced with a dilemma, let hundreds of thousands of plant workers lose their jobs or run the plant at high risk conditions. The plant had to be run at full capacity or maybe more than it should.
Anyhoo I don't remember really the whole movie, but I did remember this one scene, where this fat and old but nice manager was in bed with this much younger woman who worked at the plant. Obviously, just cuddling after you know what.
I didn't realize it until today. Sex sells even when a plant is about to blow up and the whole county was to die due to the toxic gas released.
This was a movie based solely on the plot of the problems encountered everyday by a plant manager. And yet. There was sex involved.
I guess, I dare say now, that it used to be that sex sells mostly in the States, but let me rephrase that. Sex sells everywhere in the universe. Period.

Worthless Wonderment of the Day
I wonder what the temperature unit of the group 98 Degrees.
Celcius or Fahrenheit? Or are they talking about angles here.

Flatulence

2005-02-21T21:26:00.000-08:00

I think it is time and only appropriate (or maybe not so) that I address this problem I've been having for quite a while.
My flatulence problem.
It seems that lately I pass gas more often than I burp.
And they are uncomfortable both for me and whoever is within the close proximity.
Due to that, again instead of studying for an exam this Thursday I did my reading on gas.
And Boy do we take for granted this issue of gas.
According to Web Md most people produce 3 pints of gas everyday and pass gas (and by this i do mean fart) 14-23 times a day.
I should start counting.
Anyways, as I rummaged through this wonderful maze of flatulence I learnt more about what causes this stankified vapor to be released from our bodies and what triggers them.
I really cannot pin point one major source of my flatulence problem as I eat all sorts of things throughout the day and sometimes I have no recollection whatsoever of what I had had.
And who knew swallowing air too can cause gas. I thought that was only something your brother would tell you because he didn't really know the answer to your question.
There are a lot of things out there which can trigger flatulence but it varies from one individual to another.
Let's just say, I need to breathe through my mouth less often.

Obnoxious Thought of The Day
It would really suck even more If you were menstruating when the tsunami hit.

Blah

2005-02-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

I actually have nothing to say.
But yet I have the greatest inclination to see something typed here.
So today an attempt to nothingness.
A piece on nothing.
Men are so stupid.
And women are sometimes even more stupid to fall for their stupidity.
I have decided.
That whenever I do write, at the end there will be a special segment. On whatever.
Like

Confession of the Day
My undergarments are still in the dryer. They have been there for two days.

Crap 2004

2005-02-12T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today, while I am at the computer lab, instead of doing heat balances
I have the utmost strong urge to
disect a song
Here goes

Sorry 2004 by Ruben Studdard

(I'm sorry)
(I'm Sorry)

It's like I missed a shot,
It's like I dropped the ball.
(Damn I'm Sorry)
It's like I'm on stage,
and I forgot the words.
(Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like building a new house,
with no roof and no doors.
(Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like trying to propose,
and I ain't got the ring.
(Oooh damn I'm sorry)
* I actually have nothing to say on thie whole verse. But that
doesn't mean that I think it's good or perfect.
It's far from perfect.*

But girl I've apologized
a million times before.
(I'll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again
for all the wrong I've done.
(so get ready babe)
Here's One million one.
*If he makes so many mistakes, why the hell is this girl still sticking by him?*

[Chorus]
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.
*you know what they say about promises
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.
I'm sorry for May
and I'm sorry for June (for real)
and I'm sorry for July (i am)
in case I dont tell you.
August, September, October, November 'till your December.
I'm Sorry.
(I'm sorry 2004)
*I personally despise this method of saying sorry in advance. I find it offensive
and unfair. I call it cheating. You cannot say sorry and not know what you are sorry
for. Being an asshole isn't an excuse to say sorry without knowing why.
So get your sorry right fat boy. And we continue*
Its like stayin' out at night,
had way too much to drink.
(Damn, I'm sorry)
It's like you change your hair,
and I dont say a thing.
(Damn I'm sorry)
It's like we're fallin' fast asleep,
with no kiss, and before we hit.
(yeah I'm sorry)
*Before we hit? Hit what?*
And It's like I forgot your gift,
on 02 14 03.
(Damn! So sorry!)
*I have never in my life heard anything cornier that 02 14 03 and it took me a while
to understand what the hell it was he was counting*

But girl I've apologized
a million times before.
(I'll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again
for all the wrong I've done.
(so get ready babe)
Here's One million one.

[Chorus]
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
(I'm 'a take my time)
and make it real clear.
I'm sorry for May
and I'm sorry for June (for real)
and I'm sorry for July (i am)
in case I dont tell you.
August, September, October, November 'till your December.
I'm Sorry.
(I'm sorry 2004)
*Again bullshit*

[Hook]
I'm sorry for the way that I did you
I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart for how I hurt you girl
I'm sorry on the weekends, sorry on the weekdays
sorry for the things I did, Sorry for the things i said
sorry for the lies
sorry for the time
That I didn't get you what you want,
That I didn't get you what you like.
What can I do to tell you that I'm sorry babe.
(sorry, sorry)

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhh! [echo]
Wooooooooh!
All them strip clubs,
all them hot tubs.
I'm gone give them up,
'cause I dont want to lose you love
*Really Ruben, you do all that? I think that's only normal*

[Chorus]
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance,
and make it real clear.
I'm sorry for May
and I'm sorry for June (for real)
and I'm sorry for July (i am)
in case I dont tell you.
August, September, October, November 'till your December.
I'm Sorry.
(I'm sorry 2004)

[Starts Fading]
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
Sorry 2004
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
Sorry 2004

There you go, not much disecting but still. I cannot believe anyone would produce or even worse write such a song. I watched Ruben on American Idol. I rooted for him. All the way through. Despite his profuse sweating whenever on stage, despite his preference over a hippo like body image, I still found comfort in his voice.
And he hurts me by Singing this crap.
Why Rubes? And I ask you again, Why?

Lonesome

2005-02-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

All by my lonesome.
Now it seems to me, I don't know about everyone else though
That there is somewhat a taboo on being alone
Enjoying a meal at a restaurant alone, taking a walk while listening to yourself thinking or just sitting down at a cafe watching other peoples' lives pass by are some of the activities one might deem rather depressing. Because you're all alone.

Do you not agree if I say that in order to be able to enjoy other's company you first need to be able to enjoy your own company
If you can't stand being just with yourself
What makes you think being with other people is going to make you feel any better

does that make sense
or am i trying to justify something not entirely justifiable here?
hahahahah

Sides

2005-01-28T21:22:00.000-08:00

Love
I never understood the meaning of love until you came into my life. You taught me how to love and most importantly how to be loved. Every minute that was spent with you was worth more than anything life could offer. There was never a moment of regret when I had you in my life.

Hate
I never understood the meaning of pain until you came into my life. I wished you never were something I had to endure. I regret accepting you into my life, into my heart. After you left, all that remains of my heart is a cold black stone. Full of hatred. Full of rage. It would be easier if you were just dead.

Dear John

2005-01-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

I have this question for you
Are you really sensitive as you would like us to believe?
Or are you just writing these sensitive songs just to get laid?

On behalf of the people who might have this preconceived notion of you being a wuss or in other words sweet and in tune with your feelings, are you for real Mayer?

Why

2005-01-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
Why can I not just live with this peacefully?
Why do I have to make a big deal out of utter nothingness?
Why to the power of infinity i tell you

Ish ish ish

2005-01-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

One revealing night, I discovered that I am a racist.
Wait, before you go shaking your heads in disgust, I believe that everyone is a racist in one way or another. It is just that most of us do not act on this sentiment of racism.

I had the pleasure of having a few Cantonese speaking Chinese youngsters as company on the bus from O'Hare Airport to Madison.
Now, bear in mind it was 11 pm after 4 hours of restlesness on the plane and I wanted to catch some snooze along that 3 hour ride. But, since these youngsters were talking I couldn't concentrate on getting some shut eye.
I had a script prepared in mind to shut them up, politely of course, but then I stopped myself because I realized that I didn't have a problem with another couple behind me who were also talking but in English.
It dawned upon me. Nurul you bloody racist.
I didn't have a problem with them talking, I had a problem with the WAY they were talking.
They had this way of speaking Cantonese, a certain melody to it. And I cannot fathom it. On a long bus ride.
I thought back then about all the other instances that would make me a certified racist.
And there were many. Which I will not mention here in fear of incriminating myself.
But rest assured people, I love all the diversity the world has to offer.
I am just being an asshole. And for those youngsters, I'm sorry but I can't help it.

So there you go, I am not going to deny that I am a racist. I shall embrace the fact that I am a D-grade racist. You should too.

Haih

2005-01-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

In the midst of chaos and suffering on the other side of the globe
All I can think about is
Why some people cannot chew with their mouths shut

Am I an asshole or what?

It pains me. This burden of not being able to accept the fact that some people do eat noisily.
That they have to chew with their mouths open.

And people have to think about how to rebuild their lives from scratch.
To go on without their loved ones.
Nurul, you are clearly one of the ungrateful bastards.

Pointless

2004-12-25T21:44:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that
at times like these
It is somewhat selfish to bring a child into the world
Everyday children in Iraq and other war torn countries are killed by the bullets and bombs that we the adults are responsible to shield them from
Everywhere children are being raped, abused, chopped up and sent to work as beggars
Every minute a child cries of hunger in poverty stricken countries
Every second my heart breaks seeing a child in pure agony and suffering while I am living in luxury

And we want our own children when there is so much violence and hatred
When there are so many children out there who are abandoned and neglected
And who would love to be loved and embraced and be shown even an iota amount of kindest
That there is hope

At the rate we are going it is apparent that we seem to have no respect for life

Brrrr

2004-12-14T15:01:00.000-08:00

Paces are quickened.
Noses are running.
Tell tales of extreme cold weather.

I saw my first meteor yesterday as there was a shower.
While waiting for another to cross the sky
A big wiener on a bun passed by on the street.
How funny.
Then
Sleep embraced.
Amidst the crazy howlings of the wind.

Hypocrisy

2004-12-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

I am a hypocrite.
I'd like to think that I am not, but in reality I am. Everyone is.
It is safe to say though, perhaps, I am less of a hypocrite than some others.
I wear the hijjab.
But I still curse like nobody's business. Fucking Asshole.
I sometimes watch something on tv that I should not set my eyes on.
I talk about people behind their backs.
Again I curse.
However, I make an effort to be better.
To completely practice the tenet of Islam

Do I shun people who do not have the same believes as I do?
No
Do I ever try to impose on them my believes?
No
Do I try to convince other people that my faith is the way of life?
No

So why don't you leave me alone and stop giving me those fucking looks.

Senses

2004-12-10T05:04:00.000-08:00

Kids, smoking is detrimental to your health.
Stay away from them cigarettes.
Having done my part of being the ideal human being, I shall now continue.

As I was having a fag, on the porch last night
I could hear rain drops and whirring sounds of a fan or something
My hearing sense was heightened and not because I had all that smoke in my head
But I paid attention
We take our five senses for granted that we do not realize how powerful they really are
We are so wrapped up in our busy world that we do not take time to stop and listen and see and feel and taste and smell better
Well you know what I mean
I don't think we'd like to stick our noses just anywhere

Doomed

2004-12-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

I just had an epiphany
Well sort of
During my materials class amid the heated lecture on ferramagnetism
I can only imagine myself being with someone who is bigger than I am
Considering my current physical status
That means
He has to be quite fat
Super

And what about magnets that's so fascinating again?

Promets

2004-12-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

Promises are really in essence just words.
Letters put together to make somewhat familiar sounds to the human recognition.
And in turn assembled to create an ensemble of words that
simply and absolutely
carry No Truth
and mean perfectly Nothing
And that my friends is the true meaning of promises
N'est ce pas?